September 7, 2007

What? Me dance?

I discovered recently that you can get exercise dvds through netflix, and found one I really like. Wait for it..."Yoga Booty Ballet". It has everything its title suggests. Yoga, ballet and dance segments. Knowing that I have absolutely no talent dancing, I've avoided doing the latter for a couple weeks.

Last night, I decided to try it for a change of routine. "Since I can do everything else, maybe it isn't so bad." Famous last words.

When I cued the dvd to that segment, I expected a step-by-step tutorial. "Put your foot here, and your knee should be like this, then you can do ..."

No. Gina, Tina, Mina - or whatever the hell her name was - launched into a full dance sequence. I tried in vain to follow along, and pretended that my body was really doing what the barbie yoga dance instructor was doing, twisting limbs in directions they don't normally go. After about five minutes (yes, only five minutes), I gave up after trying to figure out how to step to the right while leaning to left, and immediately step to left and reverse my tilt. The result? Crash! I banged into my armchair, which has surprisingly hard wooden arms. Apollo ran into the kitchen to avoid me. I'm not sure if he did that to avoid watching me butcher the dance routine, or to avoid having his clumsy food-lady falling on him.

And people wonder why I never dance when I go to nightclubs.

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